I have Lupus

I have Lupus - it does not have me. I work very hard at staying healthy, eating healthy, moderate exercise, keeping my stress levels down, and staying on the medications that keep me healthy as well.

However there are times, despite my best efforts - the disease rears it's ugly head as a reminder that I am not as healthy as I used to be and that I have to rest, because if I don't it could get a lot worse. I don't need to do something different, I don't need to exercise more, eat less, take extra vitamins, or see another doctor to "fix me".

It does not mean I don't love you, I don't want to hang out with you or I am ignoring you. I may not have outward signs of being sick, in fact I may look perfectly healthy. But I'm not - I have Lupus, a very peculiar disease that never presents itself twice the same way.

I have Lupus and I believe with all my heart that God wants me healthy. Just because I have not had some miracle does not mean that I have some sin issue in my life or that I do not have enough faith to believe God. But everyday that I wake up I have to remember that "His Grace is sufficient for me" and that God may use this condition as a way to bring Him glory, slow me down or make me trust Him more. Please don't make assumptions about my faith level.

If you want to know how you can help me here is a list:

• Pray for me
• Understand the illness, not for my sake but for your own.
• When you call to see how I'm feeling, expect the truth, if I feel like crap I'm going to tell you - it's not an exaggeration. I'm not seeking sympathy, I just get tired of telling people I don't feel good and they give me a confused look like "well what is wrong". Lupus is what is wrong.
• If you know I'm sick and have not been able to get out for several days, check and see if we need anything, laundry done, meals, milk or a loaf of bread from the store, etc.

I'm blessed with an amazing support group, loving husband who trys to make things better for me, sisters who may not understand what I'm going through but do check on me often, and friends who try to understand. But sometimes someone says something and I just have to remind people (as my pastor would say) "sunshine this really is not about you!".

And that is all....