Entitlement Generation, What Happens Without Purpose, Drive or Respect

I have not had time to blog the past few weeks, primarily because I was so crazy busy with Acquire the Fire, then work/home balance was way out of whack. But as I sit here this morning with my coffee, catching up on email and taking something for this sinus headache, I remembered one thing I learned from Acquire the Fire this year - I need to blog about the "Entitlement Generation".
At first I thought it was just me.  Now halfway into my 50's maybe I am just too old to be tolerant, but after that weekend I realized it was not me IT WAS THEM!

I think you know this generation. They are all under 25, they have had more opportunity and privilege than any other generation.  Yet for all this technology and privilege, they still think they are entitled to everything, and that nothing is required of them. A couple of years ago I was helping a student write a paper on the this generation and we found a book called "The Dumbest Generation" by Mark Bauerline. My student is in his 40's and from Guatemala.  As we thumbed through the book, we both decided it was spot on an accurate depiction of this generation. So before I go into my rant of this generation and what is and is not wrong with them, let's touch on a few of the high points of this book (Bauerline, 2008): 

Compared to previous generations, this generation has:

• More Schooling (college enrollments have never been higher)
• More Money (most have at least $100 per week of disposable income)
• More Leisure Time (on average 5 hours per week)
• More News and Information (Internet, Daily Show, RSS Feeds, etc)

What do they do with all this money and time?

• 9 of their 10 sites are for social networking
• Watch television or play video games

What they don't do:

• Read (not even online - 2/3rd's are not proficient in reading) something I know to be true as a editor/tutor of college freshmen
• Follow politics (cannot even name their mayor, governor or senators and probably can't tell you who the last president was or the capital of their own state)
• Maintain any type of work ethic (if they work at all)
• Vote

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I wish I could blame this attitude on them just being young.  But I had to ask myself how as a culture we managed to raise an entire generation of young people like this.  There was only one answer - PARENTING.  Be careful when you say "I wont raise my kids like that" or "I will do better than my parents", and think about how bad you might have turned out if it was not for them.  

Now before you blast my blog with accusations that your kid is not like this, I understand that some people do parent.  Please don't kill the messenger.  If you are raising up a  young American who cares about their future, my hat is off to you.  Thank you for taking time to care enough to see that they grow up with character and standards.  For the rest of you, let me tell one of my greatest regrets in raising our daughter - I did not let her fail enough. While she is not boxed into this generation of young adults, I did realize way too late that letting her fail at some things would make her a better person.  When she hit her 20's, I had to let her fail, and it was not pretty.  Today I can honestly say she is one of the most well adjusted, selfless, and hard working people I know.  She and her husband (who definitely is not in that generation) work hard, they save money, they serve others, they do missions, and they would rather cut their arms off than ask us for anything.  

My parents (as dysfunctional as they were) understood something.  Failure would not kill me, in fact if anything it will make me stronger.  Not allowing our children to fail, gives an unrealistic view of the world and promotes this attitude of entitlement.  I clearly saw this at Acquire the Fire (yes during a Christian event) where youth were blatantly disrespecting their leaders, yelling at parents and yes, even confronting me on seating assignments.  Sometimes when I'm at the grocery store, or shopping at a mall or department store, I just want to deck parents.  Why are you arguing with a 10-year old about what they can or cannot wear?  YOUR THE PARENT!  They either wear what you buy or they don't get new clothes.  Thank you if you don't let your 10-year old dress like a street walker.  I go ballistic over parents who are trying to reason with children when they are 3, because I know 10 years later they are going to have opened Pandora's box for bad behavior and then not be able to do anything about it.  

I work in corporate America and I had a 20-something engineering intern argue with me about process.  His attitude was that he had a degree in engineering and knew what was best.  I don't care what you know, our company has a standardized, systematic process for how we do things and you may have a better idea, but TODAY this is how we do it.  Get some experience under your belt, grow into a company your planning on working at for more than 5 years and then try to change processes.  Don't argue with the person that has probably written more process documents and procedures than you have ever read books on.  Better yet, pay your parents back for that education that allows you to sit in a room full of engineers today.

For this generation, if you read my blog or your parents happen to run across my blog, I have something to say to you.  YOU ARE ENTITLED TO NOTHING.  Entitlement comes later in life.  It comes have you have earned it.  It comes when you have moved out of your parents home, quit being dependent on them to pay your bills, and  have earned the respect and admiration of your peers.  You are not entitled to every new thing that comes off the shelf the minute it comes off the shelf.  You want a $600 gaming system, get a job, save your money and buy it  yourself.  You will certainly appreciate it more than the one your parents gave you because they didn't want to listen to you whining about not having one.  If you want to dress like a street walker, then move out of your parents home and go do that.  If you don't want to grow up with sense of purpose or drive to accomplish anything or make a mark on this world that matters - stay where you are.  When you are in your 30's or 40's and all your friends who "got a clue" are working, getting married and living the American dream you might finally figure it out.

Thankfully, God is not done with them yet. Like I said, I know a few parents who are parenting their kids and they refuse to allow the culture to dictate to their kids what they can and cannot do for success in this world. I call them a "remnant". Paul said something about this as well. In Romans 11:5-6, Paul wrote: So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.

God has always reserved a generation of people that He can call His own, that He can depend on when the chips are down, and who listen and follow to His voice. Even this generation has remnant. While I see more of the bad than the good, what I see in the good far outweighs the bad. These are young people of purpose. They don't go to college so they can earn more money, they go to college to equip them to follow after God's plan for their lives. They give of their resources, they take care of the less fortunate and they love and respect their parents and treat people older than them with respect and dignity. They care about the world, the environment, politics, and history. They refuse to be categorized by the majority.  

Back to parental advice. Parents please do not think that parenting is easy, it is very hard. Good parenting allows your kids to fail, it allows them to make mistakes and learn from them. Good parenting has consequences for bad behavior and rewards when you see your child shine and do something out of their comfort zone. This is what turns young people into productive adults that can leave their footprint on the planet for the better of everyone, including those with the entitlement mindset, who make no mistake are watching the latter with true curiosity.

...and now my rant is over...

Fasting - it's not about "trending".

Three things you need to know before you start reading this blog.  (1) I am married to a "good ole boy".  Not a true redneck, not a country boy, just a plain old Texas born and raised "good ole boy".  (2) This is the order of priority of things in his life.  a.  God, b.  Me, c.  NASCAR, d. Football, e. If NASCAR season is over - football takes precedence, and (3) he loves meat and would prefer to eat it for every single meal, especially beef!  That will help set the stage for this blog.  

Everywhere I go these days, even at work I hear about "trending".  Now back in the day (never thought I would say that), I thought trending was all about fashion and what people were wearing. Now trending refers to what are we watching, following, reading, listening to, wearing, etc.  It's all about what we do, who we do it with and where we are doing it. Why are we  obsessed with these things?  

This "trending" vibe seems to have managed to invade the spaces of our churches as well. Social media has turned our culture into a open forum for us to share every explicit detail in our lives with the entire world.  Trending is just the latest means by which we do that. Every church website I go to has a Facebook, Twitter and You Tube link, "follow us on....".

I became a Christian as an adult.  I was in my early 20's.  I was in a church where you were taught how to got a hold of the things of God and that was what you held on for deal life to.  You certainly did not follow after the things of the world.  The Word was holy, our services were holy and our worship was holy.  There was a stark reverence of God and His power that made you want to crawl in a corner and hide because you knew God was there and He saw you for who you truly were.  We went to church dressed appropriately.  The kids paid attention, there were not other services for them to attend that make them comfortable.  We had a nursery if your child was under age 3 and we had a cry room if your child needed to be "taken out of the service".  I remember thinking seeing some of the fearful looks on little boys and girls being drug to the "cry room" that if you were not crying when you got in, everyone would hear you before you came out. We had an organ and a piano and a guy who could not sing on pitch leading us as we sang hymns.  And guess what?  God moved, he rolled through that little country church every single Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night.  And church lasted until God was done!  The lost got saved, the broken became healed. Today I'm thankful for my early days in that church because it set a foundation for me to be able to discern when things were of God or just "trending".

Now before you (and all my pastor friends) throw me under the bus.  I'm all for progress.  I understand our culture as it is now and I also understand that we have to constantly be creating new ideas and ways that we use the tools in our culture to reach out to a lost, broken and hurting world.  I'm all for air conditioning, fellowship, and fun.  I support growth and everything else that follows from a church growing.  What I'm not for is "trending" so that we look like, act like and taste like what the rest of the world is looking like.  There has to be a reason that people want to come to church, and what we trend on social media or any other  media for that matter should not be what it is. There should be a true tugging draw from the Holy Spirit, and once those people get there they should be met with people who have laid down their lives for the sake of the others who welcome them, love them unconditionally, and disciple their relationship with the Lord. I don't care how good the music is, how my you hype it up, how great the coffee in your coffee house is, if people are not being changed - what's the point??

12:2:  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I think if Paul were alive today he would say, "Quit trending,  look to God. Think about God, think about what he is doing, what He is saying and who He is saying it to.  Then you will know that what you are following is true and pleases God and no-one else."

Back to where this all going.  First I have my husband's permission to use his example on the Internet and secondly, hopefully it will truly make you think about what you follow and why. More importantly what you fast and why.

Our church is heading into a week of fasting and prayer for a series of services that we will have at the end of the month.  I do not take fasting lightly, I think it should be productive and bring about change.  So does my husband.  So yesterday I emailed him about the upcoming fast and he quickly responded to me that he would be fasting sports.  Really???

Okay back to my opening, does football and NASCAR not fall in the top 2 category?  And for as quick as he responded to my email, he probably did not even realize that he was going to be saying "no" to football playoffs.  A point I brought to his attention when I got home from work last night.  While a weekend of no ESPN, fishing channels, hype up to opening race week on some other sports channel or what the NFL draft looks like for the Texans was a dream come true to me, in fairness I had to ask him -- why?  And it was then that he realized he had failed the litmus test for fasting. He did not even think about the consequences of his quick decision.

So this morning as I thought about trending and its impact on my life and how I behave, I looked across the room and this is what I saw.  We both have our laptops in our laps.  I have my tablet sitting next to me and we both have smart phones sitting our respective corners of the living room.  I have spent the better part of 2 hours writing this blog and drinking coffee.  I still have a stack of email to go through, plus a Dr. appt., and then grocery shopping and getting ready for the work week.  I don't know what Terry is looking at on line, I'm sure it is EBay.  I also think fasting is a private affair not a trending affair, so other than to post my blog, starting tomorrow you will not hear any details about what is coming out of our fast (detox) from our computers and TV.  Because that is not the reason for fasting.  Isaiah 58:6-11 (Message) is:

“This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
    to break the chains of injustice,
    get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
    free the oppressed,
    cancel debts.
What I’m interested in seeing you do is:
    sharing your food with the hungry,
    inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
    putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
    being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
    and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
    The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

Fasting is to bring about change.  It is to break bondage.  So if you don't eat meat, and don't change what's the point?  If you give up social media, but don't change or cause others to change, what's the point?  I have done tons of fasts in my 30+ years as a Christian, some successfully and some not so successfully.  One thing I can attest to, the ones I get the most out of are the ones where I truly take the time to do something with God during those times rather than just fasting for the sake of fasting.  If I don't eat dinner every night, but spend that time watching TV, on my computer or on the phone - nothing is going to change.  I just gave up a meal.  But if I eat my dinner and spend 2-3 hours with Terry and we are reading together, praying together, hearing from God together - then God can move.  Not rocket science is it?  God is really not interested in what you do or do not eat, what you do or do not listen to, or what you do or do not do during a fast.  He is concerned about YOU, and the changes you are able to do only through Him.  The first five verses of Isaiah 58 say it all -- it is there that the Prophet says "don't care what you do outwardly if nothing is going on inwardly". 

I will be joining others at my place of worship as we enter into a week of fasting and prayer.  Because my work schedule is so chaotic and I am also preparing for a huge youth event that I work with each year, not eating is not an option.  My body needs fuel so I can be healthy, work out and keep up with my day to day life.   My hope is that this time of fasting in our lives will begin to prepare us for summer missions activities and for growing out of our complacent little lives into a disciplined walk with the Lord.

Our prayer in all we do throughout this year that we will experience God in the same manner we experienced him in those early days, where God was reverenced and where we still got to have chicken fried steak afterwards.  

~follow me....as I follow Him....

-cv

New Year, New Me?

I have looked at previous blogs I wrote in 2011, 2012 and 2013 all pretty much had the same "resolutions", and all were epic fails.  Why do I consistently make goals or resolutions that by the middle of the year cause me to feel like a failure going into the next year?  Does this happen to anyone else.  Does anyone know anyone who has actually completed these ridiculous resolutions we set?  Last year I lost and gained the same 20 lbs at least 3 times.  If I would have just stayed the course, I would have been at my goal weight by the end of the year.  

Paul told the Philippians:   Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:12-14).

I look at these voices as a resounding encouragement in my own life.  But I think I have become so accustomed to them that I am guilty using them as a crutch.  If I fall off the diet wagon, fail to make changes that I know will forever impact my health, or  just in the simple obedience of being a true follower of Christ, I tend to say things like this.

..I press on 

..though a righteous man falls

..my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, etc. ,etc., etc.

We can all use scripture to fit our ever pressing need at that time.  

I'm not trying to start off 2014 as a kill joy, but I decided it might be worth studying some of the "life scriptures" and seeing them in context so that I might be able to figure out what makes me start strong and finish so poorly. And I made a discovery.  Its because I did not see view them in context in the first place. I just took the parts of those passages and made my failure okay in the eyes of God. Guess what, it's not okay!!  Yes, God still loves me, yes Jesus still roots for me, and yes I am responsible for the choices I make and when I choose wrong or just blatantly sin (I'm a commuter it happens), I fall on these passages to justify my failure.  It's time for permanent change!

I'm not making resolutions.  I'm going to focus my energy on living my life in obedience rather than justifying my failure because I know God loves me anyway.  I'm tired of falling on my face before God and crying out why.  I even catch myself saying things like "God why did you let me go there".  

There are things God has been dealing with me about for years .  So this year I will finish well, because if you read Phil 3:12-14 in context, the whole purpose of finishing well is to make Him known.

Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.  For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself (Phil 3:17-21).

Follow me as I follow him (1 Cor. 11:1)

The journey continues....

~cv

P.S.  Unlike previous years, this year I will be keeping up with my blog.