Fasting - it's not about "trending".

Three things you need to know before you start reading this blog.  (1) I am married to a "good ole boy".  Not a true redneck, not a country boy, just a plain old Texas born and raised "good ole boy".  (2) This is the order of priority of things in his life.  a.  God, b.  Me, c.  NASCAR, d. Football, e. If NASCAR season is over - football takes precedence, and (3) he loves meat and would prefer to eat it for every single meal, especially beef!  That will help set the stage for this blog.  

Everywhere I go these days, even at work I hear about "trending".  Now back in the day (never thought I would say that), I thought trending was all about fashion and what people were wearing. Now trending refers to what are we watching, following, reading, listening to, wearing, etc.  It's all about what we do, who we do it with and where we are doing it. Why are we  obsessed with these things?  

This "trending" vibe seems to have managed to invade the spaces of our churches as well. Social media has turned our culture into a open forum for us to share every explicit detail in our lives with the entire world.  Trending is just the latest means by which we do that. Every church website I go to has a Facebook, Twitter and You Tube link, "follow us on....".

I became a Christian as an adult.  I was in my early 20's.  I was in a church where you were taught how to got a hold of the things of God and that was what you held on for deal life to.  You certainly did not follow after the things of the world.  The Word was holy, our services were holy and our worship was holy.  There was a stark reverence of God and His power that made you want to crawl in a corner and hide because you knew God was there and He saw you for who you truly were.  We went to church dressed appropriately.  The kids paid attention, there were not other services for them to attend that make them comfortable.  We had a nursery if your child was under age 3 and we had a cry room if your child needed to be "taken out of the service".  I remember thinking seeing some of the fearful looks on little boys and girls being drug to the "cry room" that if you were not crying when you got in, everyone would hear you before you came out. We had an organ and a piano and a guy who could not sing on pitch leading us as we sang hymns.  And guess what?  God moved, he rolled through that little country church every single Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night.  And church lasted until God was done!  The lost got saved, the broken became healed. Today I'm thankful for my early days in that church because it set a foundation for me to be able to discern when things were of God or just "trending".

Now before you (and all my pastor friends) throw me under the bus.  I'm all for progress.  I understand our culture as it is now and I also understand that we have to constantly be creating new ideas and ways that we use the tools in our culture to reach out to a lost, broken and hurting world.  I'm all for air conditioning, fellowship, and fun.  I support growth and everything else that follows from a church growing.  What I'm not for is "trending" so that we look like, act like and taste like what the rest of the world is looking like.  There has to be a reason that people want to come to church, and what we trend on social media or any other  media for that matter should not be what it is. There should be a true tugging draw from the Holy Spirit, and once those people get there they should be met with people who have laid down their lives for the sake of the others who welcome them, love them unconditionally, and disciple their relationship with the Lord. I don't care how good the music is, how my you hype it up, how great the coffee in your coffee house is, if people are not being changed - what's the point??

12:2:  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I think if Paul were alive today he would say, "Quit trending,  look to God. Think about God, think about what he is doing, what He is saying and who He is saying it to.  Then you will know that what you are following is true and pleases God and no-one else."

Back to where this all going.  First I have my husband's permission to use his example on the Internet and secondly, hopefully it will truly make you think about what you follow and why. More importantly what you fast and why.

Our church is heading into a week of fasting and prayer for a series of services that we will have at the end of the month.  I do not take fasting lightly, I think it should be productive and bring about change.  So does my husband.  So yesterday I emailed him about the upcoming fast and he quickly responded to me that he would be fasting sports.  Really???

Okay back to my opening, does football and NASCAR not fall in the top 2 category?  And for as quick as he responded to my email, he probably did not even realize that he was going to be saying "no" to football playoffs.  A point I brought to his attention when I got home from work last night.  While a weekend of no ESPN, fishing channels, hype up to opening race week on some other sports channel or what the NFL draft looks like for the Texans was a dream come true to me, in fairness I had to ask him -- why?  And it was then that he realized he had failed the litmus test for fasting. He did not even think about the consequences of his quick decision.

So this morning as I thought about trending and its impact on my life and how I behave, I looked across the room and this is what I saw.  We both have our laptops in our laps.  I have my tablet sitting next to me and we both have smart phones sitting our respective corners of the living room.  I have spent the better part of 2 hours writing this blog and drinking coffee.  I still have a stack of email to go through, plus a Dr. appt., and then grocery shopping and getting ready for the work week.  I don't know what Terry is looking at on line, I'm sure it is EBay.  I also think fasting is a private affair not a trending affair, so other than to post my blog, starting tomorrow you will not hear any details about what is coming out of our fast (detox) from our computers and TV.  Because that is not the reason for fasting.  Isaiah 58:6-11 (Message) is:

“This is the kind of fast day I’m after:
    to break the chains of injustice,
    get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
    free the oppressed,
    cancel debts.
What I’m interested in seeing you do is:
    sharing your food with the hungry,
    inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
    putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
    being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
    and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
    The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
    You’ll call out for help and I’ll say, ‘Here I am.’

Fasting is to bring about change.  It is to break bondage.  So if you don't eat meat, and don't change what's the point?  If you give up social media, but don't change or cause others to change, what's the point?  I have done tons of fasts in my 30+ years as a Christian, some successfully and some not so successfully.  One thing I can attest to, the ones I get the most out of are the ones where I truly take the time to do something with God during those times rather than just fasting for the sake of fasting.  If I don't eat dinner every night, but spend that time watching TV, on my computer or on the phone - nothing is going to change.  I just gave up a meal.  But if I eat my dinner and spend 2-3 hours with Terry and we are reading together, praying together, hearing from God together - then God can move.  Not rocket science is it?  God is really not interested in what you do or do not eat, what you do or do not listen to, or what you do or do not do during a fast.  He is concerned about YOU, and the changes you are able to do only through Him.  The first five verses of Isaiah 58 say it all -- it is there that the Prophet says "don't care what you do outwardly if nothing is going on inwardly". 

I will be joining others at my place of worship as we enter into a week of fasting and prayer.  Because my work schedule is so chaotic and I am also preparing for a huge youth event that I work with each year, not eating is not an option.  My body needs fuel so I can be healthy, work out and keep up with my day to day life.   My hope is that this time of fasting in our lives will begin to prepare us for summer missions activities and for growing out of our complacent little lives into a disciplined walk with the Lord.

Our prayer in all we do throughout this year that we will experience God in the same manner we experienced him in those early days, where God was reverenced and where we still got to have chicken fried steak afterwards.  

~follow me....as I follow Him....

-cv

New Year, New Me?

I have looked at previous blogs I wrote in 2011, 2012 and 2013 all pretty much had the same "resolutions", and all were epic fails.  Why do I consistently make goals or resolutions that by the middle of the year cause me to feel like a failure going into the next year?  Does this happen to anyone else.  Does anyone know anyone who has actually completed these ridiculous resolutions we set?  Last year I lost and gained the same 20 lbs at least 3 times.  If I would have just stayed the course, I would have been at my goal weight by the end of the year.  

Paul told the Philippians:   Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:12-14).

I look at these voices as a resounding encouragement in my own life.  But I think I have become so accustomed to them that I am guilty using them as a crutch.  If I fall off the diet wagon, fail to make changes that I know will forever impact my health, or  just in the simple obedience of being a true follower of Christ, I tend to say things like this.

..I press on 

..though a righteous man falls

..my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, etc. ,etc., etc.

We can all use scripture to fit our ever pressing need at that time.  

I'm not trying to start off 2014 as a kill joy, but I decided it might be worth studying some of the "life scriptures" and seeing them in context so that I might be able to figure out what makes me start strong and finish so poorly. And I made a discovery.  Its because I did not see view them in context in the first place. I just took the parts of those passages and made my failure okay in the eyes of God. Guess what, it's not okay!!  Yes, God still loves me, yes Jesus still roots for me, and yes I am responsible for the choices I make and when I choose wrong or just blatantly sin (I'm a commuter it happens), I fall on these passages to justify my failure.  It's time for permanent change!

I'm not making resolutions.  I'm going to focus my energy on living my life in obedience rather than justifying my failure because I know God loves me anyway.  I'm tired of falling on my face before God and crying out why.  I even catch myself saying things like "God why did you let me go there".  

There are things God has been dealing with me about for years .  So this year I will finish well, because if you read Phil 3:12-14 in context, the whole purpose of finishing well is to make Him known.

Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.  For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself (Phil 3:17-21).

Follow me as I follow him (1 Cor. 11:1)

The journey continues....

~cv

P.S.  Unlike previous years, this year I will be keeping up with my blog.  

The List Maker

I used to think that when I could not sleep I just needed to get up and read, play a game, pray, etc.  Surely it would put me back to la-la land for a few more hours.  This morning that is not the case.  So I decided to look over some old blogs and realized how really bad I am at this blogging thing.  Even though what I blog, or what I feel I have to say to the world is not half bad.

It's almost time to turn the page on yet another year.  I don't do resolutions.  I do set goals, and looking back on 2013 I did complete some goals.

1.  I did lose 20 lbs, gained it back, lost it again, gained back 10 of what I had lost, lost 7......this could go on forever

2.  I did get to return to Trinidad and it was amazing, and I will return again.

3.  I developed a great friendship with a co-worker that challenges me, holds me accountable and makes me laugh (everyone should have one friend like this).  And even though she has somehow managed to live without Facebook, I love her still.

4.  If it was even possible, I fell more in love with Terry.

5.  I learned to accept people just the way they are.  And I learned that not everyone is in your life for a lifetime and sometimes you have to just let things go so you can be a better person.

6.  I started writing a book that has been 5 years in development.

I could look back on this list and feel totally accomplished.  I didn't accomplish everything I wish I could  have, but I seem to have managed to grow through-out this year.

I'm thankful for many things, but one thing I am truly thankful for is that God has kept me this  year so that I could really focus on the important things and not let the little things rattle me so much.  And I'm proud of that.  I have learned a few lessons the hard way, and one of those lessons is to not take myself so seriously that I feel like a failure when I don't manage to check off these huge list I create.  In the past, I would measure my self worth, my accomplishments, etc. by my ability to complete a list.

This past year has been one of transformation,  change and expectation.  I expect 2014 to be no more or no less than the same.  Each year is pretty much like this, with one exception, I seem to be transforming, changing and expecting the same things to happen that never happen.  Why is that?  If I'm honest with myself I will say its because while I expect everything and everyone around me to change, I'm not very good at it myself.  Maybe this year I will just throw caution to the wind and see where the Lord leads me. Life is too short to live it by a list.  I think I'm ready for the ride!



HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Overwhelming Art of Blogging

The whole purpose of the blogging craze was that we would have an outlet to voice our opinions and force the world to read them.  However I have discovered in order to make this happen you must blog on a regular basis and get people to follow you.  I go through spurts where God is dealing with me profoundly, so as a result I think everyone else needs to read about it.  Or at times, I am just trying to write out of the truth in my heart, the trials of life, the burning in me to see the captive set free and  just living life.  I don't write every day mainly because I am sometimes way too busy, or because I tutor and edit college papers I grow weary in writing for myself.  However, in a few weeks, I will embark on two journeys that I am sure will mark me for the next 12 months and give me some interesting things to blog about. 

First I will travel to Trinidad with a small group. I feel like this trip is more of a fact finding trip, and so I'm really wondering what the Lord is going to show me during the course of the 10 days we are going .  So the first part of my post is "WHY MISSIONS?".   Well the easy answer is because God commands us to go into the world.  A dear soul in my life said to me recently that he could not understand our need to go to countries and try to make people believe the way we believe or to be something they are not.  I never looked at missions like that.  My response to that person was that "love compels us to do great things".  I do missions because I love people.  I do missions because I am compelled to go.  I do missions because the though of someone not given the opportunity to hear how Jesus changed my life and can change theirs too is too heartbreaking to me.  I do missions because I don't want to change a culture or make people westernized.  I want people to know that what great love God has for them.  I can't change anyone, but I can bring help, hope and LOVE.  So that is why I am going to Trinidad. 

The Seventh Year - a 52 week journey.  I am great reading fan of Alicia Britt Chole.  I read her book Anonymous and it totally wrecked my thinking.  I have been in a season of feeling "Anonymous".  I feel like I have so much to say but no-one will give me the opportunity to say it.  Or I think about being vulnerable and sharing my story and then rather than face judgment, I retreat out of fear.  So it does not surprise me that I am feeling led to not only commit myself to this journey offered by Alicia, but that I'm actually going to take this journey with my own daughter.  I suspect it to be be a freeing period in our individual lives as well as the relationship that has been way to long in rebuilding.

So follow my blog.  I will be blogging from Trinidad, since this trip seems to be allowing me plenty of time to update.  I'll post my blogs and pictures on Facebook.  Then follow us, as we take a 52-week journey through focused on prayer, journaling, waiting and watching God mold us into something better. 

Love compels....

Cindy

The Majesty of the Cross

It is 4:28 am on a Saturday morning and for the life of me, I have no idea why I am wide awake. This happened to me yesterday as well, but it was to my advantage because I was able to get to work ultra early and get off before the traffic started to build. at any rate, being up and fully alert without coffee on a Saturday morning does not make me happy but until my body realizes that it needs at least 4 more hours of sleep before I go and tutor all day long, I think I will blog for a bit.

I have been pondering on several things lately. I keep telling myself that I need to write more. I love putting the thoughts I have down on paper. It's almost therapeutic, but for some reason I just can't seem to find the time. Maybe this is why I am awake so early on a Saturday morning. So not knowing what to write about I went back to some old blogs to see what I had written about and found a list of things I said I would blog on last May (10 months ago) and have not. The list (seee May 2011 blog), was enought to keep me blogging for a full year. I realized none of those things have really burned into my soul as much as the topic I will blog on this morning. And that is the absolute beauty of the cross, the beauty of blood stained wood and the majesty and glory it represents. For those of you I tutor, that would have just made a really great thesis statement!

We have been singing a new song at church. We have been singing this song for quite some time. But for some reason the last time we sang it, I got to these words and I thought to myself "how can this be beautiful"?

As crimson covered
Over sinless hands
Your majesty
For all to see
In raging storms and quiet cloudless days....
...Beautiful Jesus

Have you ever seen the movie the Passion of the Christ, or truly looked upon a true rendition of that crucifixion? There is not much beauty there, to the inexperienced believer there is not much majesty there either. If you look close enough, you will see deep love, and if you gaze just a little longer you will understand the words of that centurion in Luke 23:47 - Now when the centurion saw what had happened, he began praising God, saying, “Certainly this man was innocent.”

To understand the beauty of the moment you have to understand that crucifixion was usually only done to criminals. What crime did Jesus do? He loved, he healed, he forgave, he fed, he supplied, he caused Lazarus to be raised from the dead. What had he done that was so horrid that he deserved to be butchered, beaten, spit upon and then hung on a cross "for all to see"? He didn't do anything at all. He was just radical enough to be dangerous. He was fulfilling scripture. He was saving the world. But he was no criminal. So looking back at my thoughts on this song, I was just thinking about three basic truths that hang in the beautiful, majesty of that cross.

1. Love. It was for love and no other reason that Jesus did what he did. Terry and I were in Austin last weekend visiting the kids. We were traveling around Sunday morning before Terry and I had to leave to come back home and somehow we got on the topic of missions. John said, he didn't see the point in the going to another country and invoking your belief system on them. I looked at him and said "love compels us to do things we don't understand". It was for love that Jesus came, it was for love he died. Pure and simple. John 3:16 - for God so LOVED the world... He truly does love us! And once you get a glimpse of that love, you feel it deep down inside of you. You don't just sing it in a song, because it compels you to look at everything around you in a different light. Your never the same again once you get this simple truth down in side of you. The reason people lay their lives down everyday for others is based out of nothing short of love. You won't and probably can't save something you don't have passion for. Jesus had passion for all - that alone was his only motive - L-O-V-E.

2. Forgiveness. When Jesus said "it is finished", he meant it. Never again would we have rules and sacrifices that helped us to get to God. It was over - on that cross hung the forgiveness of the world, "for all to see". I drive throughout the City of Houston quite a bit. Depending on my route to and/or from I get to see two huge crosses within our city. One is the St. Jospeh Hospital downtown and the other is on Beltway 8 West. And while these are both beautiful, they just don't do it for me as much as when I look into my mind and see the beauty and majesty of that one cross that set me free. God is not mad at you, He is not waiting for you to mess up so his can put his thumb of judgment on your life (been there, done that) and He is not ever going to stop loving you. The Bible is really clear on this. Romans 10:9-10: that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. If we truly are forgiven, we live our lives like we are forgiven, we are easily led to forgive others and we understand that nothing we can do on our own can save us.

3. Hope. Love bears all things, believes all things, HOPES for all things, endures all things, love never fails (1 Cor. 13:7-8). My hope is in this one thing, that Jesus is my savior, he loves me beyond measure and his promises are true and for me. This has been a year of struggle health wise for me. I get well only to relapse and feel like I take two steps forward and one step back. It has been a journey that I have not enjoyed much. I wish I could say I have embraced this struggle, but at times the pain and exhaustion of dealing with it is just too much to bear on my own. My hope still is unwavering that God is faithful, even in my trial and circumstance. Even as I type this today, there is a song playing in the background which says "let hope arise". Hope is what pulls us through these tough times. Our hope is in Jesus, and all that he did when he gave his life. My favorite scripture this month is Psalm 118:17, I will not die, but live, And tell of the works of the LORD.

Three simple truths. Yet for most of us, the simplicity that brings majesty to the cross is just too much to understand. We always think there needs to be some formula to make something work. Or that God has a hidden agenda someplace. There is no hidden agenda. Love - the basic ingredient for the cross. Forgiveness, the need for man to have it, because we can not save ourselves. Hope, that what we believe and who we believe is rock solid and never wavering.

And with that, I have heavy eyelids and think I will grab another hour or two of sleep before my morning starts in full force. Peace be still my friends, embrace the majesty of the King of Kings today. --Peace be still....

Coming sooon

My thoughts on being beautifully broken. Watch for it!

Hardship and Blessings working together?

The radio is playing a song right now that is just ministering to me in so many ways. Because I have always been an advocate that our walk with the Lord is not about our comfort but about His glory, I am not always popular when some comes whining to me about where is God in the midst of the trial. I have just spent almost 2 years walking through trials, health issues, financial issues, and everything else the devil could throw. I literally read the book of Job at least 10 times to find encouragement and truth in our circumstances. Really - Cindy - Job?? I agree, Job is not the first place our "make me comfortable" faith wants to read but there are some great truths about walking things out in there that you will not find anyplace else.

So what if your blessings do not come in masses and miraculous ways to let you know that God is there? Does it mean he is not? What if you have to cry, lose sleep, walk it out in faith and find confidence that God is able? Does it make God less sovereign? NO! He is always going to be sovereign, faithful, loving, merciful, gracious, victorious and a million other adjectives that make God. I don't have answers as to why some people get instanious miracles, deliverance or answers. I'm not God, but I know God and his character. I have experienced Him, I have felt His presence in my life even when I questioned where it was. I knew that there would be victory, freedom, healing, restoration and redemption. I didn't know when I would see it, but I knew it would come because God promised. He didn't give me a date, he gave me a word and a promise and once you have that Word -- nothing can penetrate or break it off you.

Our walks are different. For some faith is just a part of our fiber. I wish I was like that. I have a friends that do not seem to have any problem at all taking God at face value, I'm a little more analytical and sometimes am sorry to say I demand proof. I'm not proud of it, many times I just sit in my the middle of my small living room floor and find myself crying out and then apologizing for not trusting Him more. I get impatient in the waiting much of the time and have to flight my flesh every single day to sit back and wait for God to work in areas I have been praying over for years. I am amazed that sometimes God has moved, stirred or acted and somehow I missed it, but then again I missed the fact that through the impatience, tears, etc., something inside me is different.

I have been camping out on the topic of "avoidable pain" this week. I have had to ask myself how much easier would things have been if I had not put myself in circumstances to avoid the pain of consequences for my actions. I also believe that this type of pain pushes us to what my wonderful friend Diane Sample says is called"unavoidable prayer". And that my friends is the answer. Most people I know who have experienced great pressure and faith trials have learned the secret to praying without ceasing that we read about in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. If you read it in context we are to rejoice always, and give thanks in everything, and PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. It does not say rejoice when things are good, and give thanks when God blesses you without merit. When things are hard, when times are tough, when your health fails, when your friends and family seem to abandon you, at all times and in all things, practice unavoidable prayer because that is what is going to get results. I'm not saying it's easy, the disciples could not do it, but it is possible to learn to pray and out of that prayer comes everything.

One of my key scriptures for 2011 is out of Psalm 91: 16-18: Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.

Every time I read that I am reminded, how faithful he is. So in closing this blog this morning I decided to do a little back story on Laura Story. She is the writer of that song that I am loving so much these days. What causes someone to write such profound lyrics, unless of course they have experienced some pain that God has brought them through and out of that you can minister it through song? So the back story is that shortly after she married her high school sweetheart the lives of the newlyweds were shattered when they were told that her husband had a brain tumor. The result of that diagnosis would leave them trusting God to a point of utter dependence. She wrote Blessings because has experienced walking out two years of her young life with her husband and trusting God every step of the way - even unto death. She knows that He is in fact all that He says He is. God brought them through it and today she writes out of that victory in a way that can only minister to those of us who have walked through or are in those places where it does not seem like God is moving.

I thank God for the past two years. I have learned some things that have forever wrecked me. Primarily I have learned that I can confidently trust the Lord in all things, even when I don't see the outcome. He is the keeper of my life and the lifter of my head and I will rejoice always at that!

Blessings -- Laura Story

Because what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise