The List Maker

I used to think that when I could not sleep I just needed to get up and read, play a game, pray, etc.  Surely it would put me back to la-la land for a few more hours.  This morning that is not the case.  So I decided to look over some old blogs and realized how really bad I am at this blogging thing.  Even though what I blog, or what I feel I have to say to the world is not half bad.

It's almost time to turn the page on yet another year.  I don't do resolutions.  I do set goals, and looking back on 2013 I did complete some goals.

1.  I did lose 20 lbs, gained it back, lost it again, gained back 10 of what I had lost, lost 7......this could go on forever

2.  I did get to return to Trinidad and it was amazing, and I will return again.

3.  I developed a great friendship with a co-worker that challenges me, holds me accountable and makes me laugh (everyone should have one friend like this).  And even though she has somehow managed to live without Facebook, I love her still.

4.  If it was even possible, I fell more in love with Terry.

5.  I learned to accept people just the way they are.  And I learned that not everyone is in your life for a lifetime and sometimes you have to just let things go so you can be a better person.

6.  I started writing a book that has been 5 years in development.

I could look back on this list and feel totally accomplished.  I didn't accomplish everything I wish I could  have, but I seem to have managed to grow through-out this year.

I'm thankful for many things, but one thing I am truly thankful for is that God has kept me this  year so that I could really focus on the important things and not let the little things rattle me so much.  And I'm proud of that.  I have learned a few lessons the hard way, and one of those lessons is to not take myself so seriously that I feel like a failure when I don't manage to check off these huge list I create.  In the past, I would measure my self worth, my accomplishments, etc. by my ability to complete a list.

This past year has been one of transformation,  change and expectation.  I expect 2014 to be no more or no less than the same.  Each year is pretty much like this, with one exception, I seem to be transforming, changing and expecting the same things to happen that never happen.  Why is that?  If I'm honest with myself I will say its because while I expect everything and everyone around me to change, I'm not very good at it myself.  Maybe this year I will just throw caution to the wind and see where the Lord leads me. Life is too short to live it by a list.  I think I'm ready for the ride!



HAPPY NEW YEAR!