FORGIVENESS = BREAKTHROUGH

So there is a spiritual heaviness I have had to break through this week. Breaking the Silence is only 9 days away - and I think the enemy is trying to bring up some stuff to cause me to shrink back and not be a part of something that I believe so strongly in. Before I share my thoughts on forgiveness let me say - that this is not just a conference for those who have suffered some type of abuse in their lives, but its for anyone, (men, women, children) who need a breakthrough .

Last night Terry and I caught about an hour of the Student Awakening going on at IHOP University in Kansas City on GOD TV and as we watched student after student take the platform and testify to the healing power of Jesus, one theme stood out - FORGIVENESS. I wept as I listened to students who came from horrific backgrounds. Some who had suffered great physical, emotional and spiritual abuse that thankfully many of my readers will never have to endure. But one thing was for sure, they had experienced something that only God could bring in their lives and that was breakthrough in some manner.

Each and every student said the same thing. "When I chose to forgive", my cough went away, my pain went away, my shame went away, my broken heart went away, my fear ended..." The list went on, but all had the same theme - they all realized they had to forgive someone.

The whole issue of forgiveness is a sticky one in the church today. I think its because as humans if someone hurts us our fleshly defense mechanism is to back off and "separate ourselves" from that person. Secondly, we often feel justified in how we feel towards that person, so we give ourselves the right to walk in unforgiveness. Jesus said if we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts over anything or anyone -- we can not be forgiven ourselves (Matthew 6:14-15). So does it not stand to reason that if we are refusing to forgive someone who has hurt us or caused us pain that we might have a battle on our hands in getting our own breakthrough? Not to mention that when we hold on to unforgiveness in our own hearts, we tie God up and hinder him in moving in the life of someone who might also need to not only receive forgiveness but salvation and freedom from their own hurts and disappointments.

So my personal application comes form my own childhood. I didn't grow up in a secure and loving Christian home. My husband and I often laugh that he grew up in one of those homes you see in a early 60's sitcom like Ossie and Harriet, and my family was more like The Osbourne's. Truth be told, it was more like a bad scene out of the movie Prince of Tides. Some of the things I was exposed to and endured as a child up until my teen years were never talked about, and it was not until a few years ago that I had the courage to admit to a counselor what I had endured. My own husband did not even know and we had been married almost 30 years at that point.

As I became and adult, I really struggled with my relationship with my parents, especially my mother who I knew was supposed to do all she could to protect me -- but just could not. Even after I became a Christian, and years later as I became a follower (yes they do not always happen together), I really struggled with her. She loved her grandchildren and in many ways I see now she was trying to make up for her own mistakes by being a great grandmother. With me, more than 4 hours in a room with her and the conversations would go to bitter arguments that would just leave me exhausted and emotionally drained screaming for Valium.

Then one day when I was fixing to teach Tessa about respect and obedience towards her parents, God just spoke to me. He told me to call mom and apologize for failing to respect her. Now let's just say I was not stepping up to the plate of obedience because honestly -- did God know what he was asking me to do? I will say this -- that as a young Christian who had only been walking with the Lord for about a short time (less than 10 years), I saw my first breakthrough in my life. I called her, and I told her I was sorry and that she did not deserve for me to disrespect her. I didn't condition that apology with anything - even though deep down I probably felt she deserved the treatment she received from me, just that I was sorry and that I loved her.

Friends, in the coming days the dam broke and things changed. My mother cried over the phone and then asked for me to please forgive her. She knew that she had not been the best example in parenthood, she knew that some of what I had experienced was her fault, and she was truly sorry. And even though she was a mess, she was a mess that only God could deal with and for the next 4 weeks we were closer than we had ever been. And 5 weeks later after complications from back surgery a blood clot traveled from her leg to her heart and she was gone. However, not before I had the incredible opportunity to witness my brother-in-law lead her in a sinner's prayer and see her go from glory to glory. BECAUSE I HAD FORGIVEN SHE WAS ABLE TO BE FORGIVEN!God knew her time was limited, and he also knew that I was hindering Him from dealing with her heart.

So do you harbor forgiveness in your heart? Do you hold on to things someone did forever and refuse to let them go. Even if you are justified in your emotions, like I thought I was - you need to forgive. Out of that forgiveness you have the power to offer someone a chance at something they may never have - eternal life! Out of that forgiveness God can give you what you may have been desperately been crying out for years.

Peace be still--


cv

Holy Spirit, A Helper? What a concept!

I had a friend share a moment with her son on her Facebook that ally touched my heart, so I emailed her and asked if I could use it for this blog and she said yes. So Sarah Grace, thank you for sharing your heart with us and for allowing us to see what God so desires from all of us.

I said to Arden, "It's nap time." Arden then ran away like he does most of the time. I slowly followed him (there aren't too many places he can hide). Moments later I found him in the kitchen, on his knees, face down, praying something like this..."Holy Spirit help me to obey..." When I thought he was finished, I said his name. He looked up at me and said, "I'm still praying" and then he went back to prayer. 10 seconds later, he jumped up, ran to his room and dove into his bed. One thing I would love for Arden to remember throughout his life is to ask the Holy Spirit for help, instead of thinking he can do this life on his own.

I read this post that my friend had put on her Facebook as she shared some tender moments with us about her son who is only 3 years old. Now honestly, Richie and Grace Parks are two of the most passionate prophetic intercessors I know. They are ½ my age and I am not surprised that they probably began teaching Arden to pray before he even made his appearance into this world. So honestly for this to come out of the mouth of their 3 year old, does not surprise me.

Last week I just could not seem to focus and finding that time to carve out with the Lord was non-existent and for some reason I was just really tired. I mean more tired than normal, to the point that even during the day I had to put my work down and take 2 hours naps. It was very bizarre. When I read Sara's post I just had to repent. And hence began a new journey in the Word the past week of God reminding me in whom my help comes from. Why do we struggle with this so? You see what is amazing about little Arden isn’t that he went to the kitchen floor and asked the Holy Spirit to help him be obedient towards his parents, but that this little warrior they are raising up – actually understood that the Holy Spirit is His helper!

We are studying the Holy Spirit and its importance in our church right now. It’s been amazing to have some balanced teaching and to watch our congregation begin to wait on the Holy Spirit to bring direction into our services. I’m thankful that our pastoral staff at Dominion does this, and more thankful that the Body I attend allows it to happen. We wait on God to move through our services, whether it is in prayer time, worship time, the preaching of the word, the altar service….WE WAIT. This study has helped me to recognize the Holy Spirit in a different way in my life. Not just for the empowerment that abiding within this facet of God brings to my life, but also in a way that I understand that the Holy Spirit is the promised "help” that Jesus left us with. It is the tangible way that we can hear and feel God moving through us. But I can honestly say that that I have never sat down in the middle of any room in my house and fought the desire to obey by asking the Holy Spirit to help me overcome my own fleshly desires and obey!! What a concept!!

David understood this. He said so in Psalm 51:11 when he told God, “Do not take your Holy Spirit away from me”. Jesus told the disciples in John 16:15 that the Holy Spirit will “take what is mine and reveal it to you”. You see the disciples knew Jesus; they were with him all the time. But when he was gone, how were they going to know what to do or what Jesus was speaking to them – through the Holy Spirit. Early in the Book of Acts, we see this working, infilling of the Holy Spirit into the lives of the apostles. And honestly, how could they face ½ of what they faced without something stronger to lean on. Jesus just didn’t leave them in the battle without some ammunition, AND HE DOES NOT LEAVE US EITHER. This same helper that the prophets knew in the Old Testament that the apostles experienced in the New Testament and that little 3-year old Arden came to on the kitchen floor – SAME HOLY SPIRIT that empowers us today!

But in our modern day Christianity we treat this third person of God very casually. You see the Word says that the Holy Spirit lives inside of us as well. The Holy Spirit is what strengthens us in our weaknesses us and helps us walk in obedience. We have to ask when we are faced with situations that on the outside might be very easy to handle on our own, or that we think we can control, or even do better at getting a situation under control is better than what God can do for us. We have to ask, and then we have to obey. I am so guilty of often asking God to give me strength, patience, love, kindness, but when faced with life controlling issues, the sin in my own life, or just the day to day weariness that comes in our lives, it is rare that I ask the Holy Spirit for help. I may cry out to God for deliverance, but help to overcome, help to endure, help to understand, help to obey, I had to search my heart and realize I do not do this.

My blog today is not to criticize us a Body, but to encourage us to take a lesson from the mouth of a 3-year old. Here are some situations in my life that I will be working on in this area of asking the Holy Spirit to help me obey better.

• When faced with adversity or just paying attention to and listening to God, I will run to the kitchen floor (so to speak) and ask for help to overcome it.
• When my husband makes a decision I’m not really happy about, I will not argue or pout, but know that God has given me this soul-mate to lead me and ask the Holy Spirit to help me to obey.
• When trying to control things in my life that I really have no control over, I will ask the Holy Spirit to help me to give those things over and release my control.
• When looking at others and wondering why they struggle so much in their Christian faith, or why they can’t “get it together”, I will remember that I am no different, and ask the Holy Spirit to help me to be a better example, a better friend, and be the one who embraces those who need encouragement and guidance instead of judgment and abandonment.
• When feeling overwhelmed, look at my focus and go back to the place where I knew God was using the Holy Spirit to speak to me. Nothing replaces a good cup of coffee and the Word of God, just sayin…

Arden prayed, “Holy Spirit help me to obey”. David prayed, Jesus prayed and promised, the apostles prayed, waited and received and then had power to do great things for God. Let us be thankful that God has not abandoned us and left us here to figure things out for ourselves. I mean what a mess that would be! Let us come boldly with the child like faith of a 3 year old and also say the same thing.

ROMANS 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hang in there friends, the ride is half the fun - we are empowered and we can overcome!

cv

What is waiting outside your door?

Its raining again in Houston. The rain keeps coming, then it gets cold, but for a brief moment the sun comes out and we warm up, only to start this geographical process of a “Texas Winter” all over again. Amazingly shortly after the rain disappears and the sun peeks out its head out beyond the clouds, everything just smells fresh and clean. Even living in a huge city it happens. I miss spring and everything it represents in our lives. I miss riding my bike, going for long walks, sitting in the sunshine with a cool glass of southern iced tea. I miss the trees blooming, despite seasonal allergies, the flowers coming to life and the other signs that indicate that winter is finally over and we can look forward to a few months of nice days before the Texas summer is upon us and we are screaming for fall to come. We are never satisfied are we?

Genesis 4:6-7: The Lord said to Cain, Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.

Just before this passage we read that Abel brought an acceptable offering to God, but Cain did not. Instead, Cain brought a offering of the ground, which God had cursed. God refused to accept Cain’s offering. Cain was never satisfied with all the God has given him and blessed him with and like many generations that would come after him, Cain’s pride got the best of him. His jealousy towards his brother Abel and his anger towards God was relentless and fueled something inside of him. Even after God had given him this warning, Cain still lured his brother out into the field and murdered him.

Genesis 4:10-15: The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth." Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." But the LORD said to him, "Not so if anyone kills Cain, he will suffer vengeance seven times over." Then the LORD put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him.

Okay, so I can’t prove this in my blogging time this morning, but knowing God the way I do, I am convinced that a couple of things could have changed this whole situation around for Cain. (1) He could have first heeded this warning from the Lord and repented of his anger and jealousy or (2) even if he failed in resisting sin, he could have told God that he killed Adam and possibly seen and learned a valuable lesson in God’s grace and mercy. Do you think God would have banished Cain if he just told God, “I have killed my brother in my anger and jealousy and please forgive me”? He might have but deep down I want to believe that God would have embraced Cain and given him another chance.

Much later, after Jesus has walked the earth and died for our sins, we see this story played out every single day in not only the lives of others, but in our own lives as well. So many times I hear this crazy voice in my head which asks me “Cindy why are you downcast? Just do what is right and you will have my grace and mercy in what your life. I wish I could say I always choose “right”, but I can’t. Sometimes I just think I’m much smarter than God. I quickly find out however that God is warning me because He is good and wants me to avoid the trap that an enemy who is “sitting outside my door” has laid out for me. We must learn to master sin in our lives in order to be effective in this world which is fallen and full of sin.

Cain’s entire destiny changed in that moment of his “choice”. Did it mean that God refused to continue to love Cain – absolutely not, the Lord disciplines those he loves (Proverbs 3:12). I’m sure God’s heart broke then just as it breaks when we make choices that are not right. Sometimes we have to just accept the fact that we screwed up to the point that we don’t get a “do over”. But we get to learn from those choices and the next time the enemy comes to us in that area of our life, we can remember the consequences of our previous actions and not go around that mountain again. I’m sure many times during his life Cain had to looks back at the land he loved in Eden and realize that one moment of time in his life changed everything forever.

The Apostle Paul gave us warning very much like the one God gave Cain:

Galatians 5:7-8, 13-15: 7You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? 8That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Jealousy and anger are two emotions that drive us into a pit that we don’t want to be in. Looking back every bad choice I have made has been fueled by (1) jealousy, wanting what someone else had or trying to be like those around me, or (2) anger when I didn’t my own way or thought I was being mistreated or even worse (3) an attitude that I truly thought I could sin because quite frankly “I deserved to have something that God would not let me have”.

Friends, let us race towards the prize. Put aside the things that hinder us. We are called to freedom! Be thankful that we are in relationship with a God that speaks to us because for no other reason we are covered by the blood of his son, which is our mark from God! We do not need to trade our destiny for less than God has for us, we just need to do what is right in the eyes of our God.

The sun just peeked through briefly, and the rain has left a smell of cleanliness is in the air. I pray that this day the rain of your Holy Spirit will wash through you and wash away those things that keep you from Him.

God's favor isn't awarded like a trophy through winning a competition with others (Alicia Chole)

cv

Thoughts on "Surrendering"

Surrender is such a strong word. It's not wonder we really don't like it very much. The dictionary gives several definitions of this verb, I found this as one definition today: to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police. Another definition is to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.). I think when the Word says we are to surrender, it is a combination of both of these defintions. We do surrender everything, power, possession, etc. when we become His. But we also do this:

Give up death - receive life
Give up strive - attain peace
Give up hate - get love
Give up sin - gain freedom
Give up unforgiveness - for forgiveness

We could expand this list of surrender forever. I believe that as a the body, we just need to give up - period. It's time for us to give up control of HIS church, give up trying to change people and remember that it's the love of God that draws men to repent (John 6:44). Give up so we can as Paul said, "...press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward calling in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3:14)

Freedom is not so much about being free to do our own will as much as as it is about allowing our own desires to be aligned with the freedom of Christ. We are free for no other purpose than to serve Him. WE ARE HIS BRIDE - MARRIED TO HIM. We should willfully and graciously submit our will to His and SURRENDER our desires and control to a love that deeper than the grave.

Fleshly Faith (written 2/9/2010)

In our efforts to pray through all situations and circumstances this season at Dominion, to not shrink back in our prayer life but to believe God for great things, I wanted to share my morning prayer time with you guys.

Pastor Gregg said something in his preaching on Sunday that really rocked me. You see I’m having to trust the Lord in a very serious matter right now, and I’m telling you that it really is not easy for me. In fact going into Sunday I was ready to just relinquish my faith and not continue to allow God to move. Pastor Gregg asked us “how many times do we give up, or change our path, or just relinquish ourselves over right before God was about to show ?” I just think that my abilities to fix things and be organized are just what God needs in my situation, but I have had to take a back seat to His plans and totally and completely trust the Lord and rise up to walk in peace knowing that He is working even though I can’t see it. So as you may have guessed, all of my time with the Lord this morning he spoke to me about faith. My reading from Psalms was all about how David endured hardship yet still he knew that God was in charge (Psalm 21), my devotion was out of Hebrews 11, where we see the great generals of the faith, and even my quiet time as I sat and reflected on my own faith walk – the Lord began to show me even more and more about my own faith (or lack thereof).

So this morning, as I was studying, I coined this phrase in my journal of “Fleshly Faith”. What is this? It’s what another pastor friend of mine calls “stupid faith”. It’s faith does not line itself up with God or His promises. We see this a lot on TV, where if went send in some money and believe in faith that God will answer us, or we try to convince ourselves that we are standing in faith for some things that God has no part of in our lives. We want to believe God for the bigger house, bigger toys, bigger everything, but we can’t even make ourselves be faithful in little things. We are “blessed and highly favored”, the “head and not the tail”, yes we are all those things, but in the context of our modern church I’m afraid we have once again looked for the “things” to make us happy instead of God. Once again as Pastor said one time, we want the hand of God, but are not willing to seek his heart. Maybe it’s not things? Maybe it’s just an attitude, or a control issue (that would be me) or sometimes we just get too big for our britches and we think we need God less and we are able to do it much better than God could, because if we are really honest with ourselves don’t we all think at times that we are just better at fixing things than God is? Fleshly faith causes us to shrink back when we don’t get our way or see God answer in our timing.

True faith, if it is the evidence of things hoped for and the promise of the things unseen will always develop and bring the following character traits into our lives, patience (Hebrews 6:12), Trust (Proverbs 3:5), Perseverance (Romans 5:24) and prayer (James 5:15). It will also produce love in us that we cannot explain because in drawing close to God in prayer, we are just naturally drawn to a deep love walk. True faith is always trusting that God will show up, even if it is in the 11th Hour!

So I wanted to encourage us, that as we are learning about standing in the times of conflict and not giving up and becoming tenacious in our relationship with the Lord, to pray with that same mindset. Let us not just sing the He is the God of the City, let us believe it even when the news tells us crime is on the rise. When we pray for the sick to be healed, let us believe it with our whole hearts that He really does want to heal. Let us believe God for a moving and shaking not only in us, but in every person who fills every seat in Dominion each and every time the doors are open. Let our hearts be open to what the Spirit of the Lord is telling us in these days, and let us pray like there is not a doubt in our minds that our God is able and willing to meet our needs. Let us not take on any fleshly faith that requires us to bow down, give up or shrink back! Let us never say, well maybe this was God’s will if it does not produce evidence of the God we know and love. Let’s go into the enemy’s camp and take back every promise stolen for every single person we know. May we always stand like those generals in Hebrews 11 and I believe that if we stand like that, that we will see the results. Revival is looming, not some spiritual experience, but a forever changing of the lives of the people in our church, our communities, cities, counties and beyond!

Have a blessed day guys, I’ll see you tonight!

Cindy

Psalm 103

So this morning I’m just kind of walking through the motions of quiet time, not really digging in and waiting on the Lord to speak to me, but just very casually reading. You know that process don’t you – you know where you have read something so many times that you have memorized it and now so your attitude is one of “Oh I know this”, yet you really don’t you have just grazed over it so many times you think you do. Hence my experience this morning?

Do any of my bloggers sin? I’m just asking because I know I do and it just seems to me that today the whole issue of sin is just casually grazed over as well. I have this thing in my life, and every single day I have to fight it off. Every day I beg God to change me, fix me, yet I always seem to fall back and I often wonder – am I the only one because the devil sure makes me feel like I am. So this morning as I was doing my “crying out” I happened upon Psalm 103, and I am wrecked. Now that I read it again, I will probably add it to my next blog which is my parallel between Hebrews and Galatians.

I have read Psalm 103 a bazillion times. I sing (not very well) Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul and all that is within me, Bless His Holy Name So my question to the Lord this morning was “Why do I keep struggling???”. The answer came quickly – because “you don’t fear or believe me”. You don’t realize that the blood of My son can truly do all these things, and as long as you “struggle” and continue to row against the wind you will struggle, but be encouraged….I can and will free you, even if all you do is die to it every single day you will see freedom. David is blessing God for who He is and not because David is anything because let’s face it, we can’t do anything without screwing it up. But God…

David is telling us, let’s Praise God and oh by the way, while your praising Him, let’s not forget some things along the way! What should we not forget?
• Vs. 3 – He pardons our sins and heals our bodies
• Vs. 4 – Redeems us
• Vs. 5 – Satisfies us
• Vs 6 – Performs righteous deeds and judgments for those oppressed.
• Vs. 8 – He is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger and abiding in loving-kindness.

Then David says, but wait, we don’t deserve any of this because you know we are just dust (vs. 14) but praise Him anyway because in spite of us, He does not deal with us according to our deeds and in fact as far as the east is from the west he pretty much forgives un even when we sin again and again and again. Not that we are free to sin – please don’t think I’m saying that. I’m just saying…David did a bunch of stuff and he wrote this Psalm, I think we can glean some wisdom from that. Even in spite of David, God still said that David was “a man after God’s own heart”.

I can’t prove this scripturally but I honestly believe that the woman at the well did not walk away and just be free. Jesus told her “Go and sin no more”. When do you think she got free? I believe it was not when she walked away from that well, even though she was obviously changed having been in the presence of Jesus, but I believe that the first time she found freedom was when the devil reared its ugly head up and she chose to say “no”. That is when we get free – when we say NO MORE!!

So maybe that’s the key. Say NO and then remember by the way that Psalm 103 says that in spite of us we are still His, but it is our choices that keep us having to run back to Him for more of who He is!

As for me, I will Bless the Lord today – and I will forget not His benefits, because in the midst of all this dealing with my own stuff – He is not only able to free me –he wants me to recognize I can’t free myself, I never could.

Blessings and Peace, cv